Technology

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
- Arthur C. Clarke

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo."
- Andy Finkel, computer guy

"Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature."

"Fast, cheap, good: pick two."

"Artificial intelligence has the same relation to intelligence
as artificial flowers have to flowers."
- David Parnas

"Real programmers don't comment their code.
It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."

"Any irregularities are a feature, not a bug."

"There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users'."
- Edward Tufte

Atilla The Hun's Maxim:
"If you're going to rape, pillage and burn, be sure to do things in that order."
- P. J. Plauger, Programming On Purpose, p147

"Friends don't let Friends do Microsoft"

"The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail."
[if you know the song, you know the joke]

Virtual reality is its own reward.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks."

"Direct Nuclear strike will cause unit to fail to function"

"When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, for free'
- Linus Torvalds

Login to www.clue.org and issue the GET command

"All programs evolve until they can send email. Except Microsoft Exchange."

"The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland;
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman."

"Even I have to ask: when was the last time you received a moral, ethical OR legal spam?"
- Sanford Wallace, formerly of CyberPromotions

"A cloned calf whose birth was anounced with great fanfare earlier this week died after only 16 hours, according to Japanese researchers.
The calf was survived by ... himself."

"Given two unrelated technical terms, an Internet search engine will retrieve only resumes."
- Schachter's Hypothesis

"Given two unrelated NON-technical terms, an Internet search engine will retrieve only porn."
- Lukas' Hypothesis [C'mon, we all know it]

"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?'
I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
- Charles Babbage

"Cars are good! They let us cause trouble faster and better!"

"Actually, Microsoft is sort of a mixture between the Borg and the Ferengi."

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